Friday, November 26, 2021

Tucker Carlson Not Sure If He Likes Vaccine Requirements Now That He’s Compared Them To Jim Crow

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Now that he’s had a few hours to sit with it, Fox News host and winner of the 2021 Cross Lighters Monthly Racist of the Year award, Tucker Carlson, isn’t sure if he’s for or against the COVID-19 vaccine. Despite the fact that he’s already gotten it and just won’t tell his audience about that fact, Tucker has been on the warpath against the COVID-19 vaccine, mainly because progressives are championing it and businesses are saying they require proof of vaccination to use their services.

During last night’s broadcast of his show, Tucker compared those who vaccinated and those who don’t to an era in American politics considered one of its worst. In a long-winded rant, Carlson complained that liberals in America were forcing conservatives who don’t want to get a COVID-19 vaccine into a “medical Jim Crow” situation.

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The initial reaction to Carlson’s commentary was what one might expect. On the left, it was assailed as a thinly-veiled dog whistle and attempt to minimize the actual Jim Crow era by comparing it to private companies asking potential customers to being vaccinated. On the right, it was championed. In an interview on conservative talk radio this morning, Carlson indicated he himself is actually quite torn about it all now.

“You know, I always absolutely love every word that comes out of my mouth. Being born with a silver spoon it, I think, has given each syllable that falls out of it a certain, sheen, shall we say,” Carlson told W-KKK’s Chip Chatterly today. “But, Chip, now that I’ve had a night to reflect, I’m not sure how I feel about COVID vaccinations anymore. Am I for them? Am I against them? I really have to work this out in my head, I think.”

Tucker, an heir to a vast frozen food fortune, told Chatterly that the “elite coastal libs” want to force everyone to get vaccinated, which he strongly opposes. However, he admitted that as soon as he mentioned that businesses wanting to ensure the safety of their employees by asking unvaccinated people to mask up or stay out to Jim Crow, he was “almost immediately torn.”

“I got done with my show last night, and I really started thinking about it all. I mean, Jim Crow? Jim Crow was awesome; it was how the Good Lord intended us to function best,” Carlson opined. “So if vaccinations are like Jim Crow, and Jim Crow was awesome, that would mean that vaccinations are awesome. Which I definitely thought they were when Trump was in office. But now that liberals like them, I literally hate them and think they’re terrible. But the Jim Crow thing…man, Chip, this is hard!”

Carlson said he plans to address this subject on tonight’s broadcast.

“Obviously there’s only one thing to do. I need to have a bunch of stuffy white dudes on my show tonight,” Carlson hinted, “because they’re the only people who can give me the proper perspective on black history without letting all the cultural Marxism, reverse racism, and anti-incestual relations nonsense of the left tainting their views. I’ll get to the bottom of this, mark my words, Chip.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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