Saturday, January 16, 2021

Trump Asserts His Right to Commit Impeachable Offenses Until Joe Biden is Sworn-In

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump is entitled, as president, to commit impeachable offenses right up to the point that Joe Biden is sworn into office. That is, at least, according to the outgoing president himself.

Over the weekend, The Washington Post published a bombshell leak of a call between Trump and Georgia’s Secretary of State. The call alarmed many because Trump openly and brazenly demanded that he get help to “find” the votes he would need to overtake Biden’s lead in the state. Trump’s behavior and actions as they relate to the election in Georgia would almost certainly get him impeached, had he won in November, and some are even wondering if the House might still move to impeach him again, even with just 16 days left on his tenure.

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Perhaps in an attempt to address the growing controversy, President Trump told reporters in the Oval Office today that he is “fully and legally entitled” to commit impeachable offenses right up until Joe Biden takes the oath of office.

“I am hereby informing you, the Enemies of the People and the American public that I am fully and legally entitled to do impeachable shit my entire term,” Trump asserted. “It’s not like I’m a black president attempting to fill a Supreme Court vacancy in the final year of my term, months before an election or anything whacky like that! But I am right here and now declaring my intention to keep committing impeachable acts right up until they swear Sleepy Bo Beepy Joe in.”

According to every legal scholar we spoke to, the lame duck president is technically correct. There is nothing in the Constitution that prevents him committing impeachable acts, and being impeached for them for the entirety of a president’s term. As with so many things in the Trumpian Era, though, no one but him has ever tested the legal theory.

“To be perfectly frank, there’s never even been a guy who was impeached in his first term that ran for a second one. We just don’t have a lot of data on this,” Dr. Benson Hornaydieux of the National Historical Institute of History told us over the phone today. “However, from what we can tell, Donald Trump would be the first man brazen, spoiled, and dumb enough to try to commit impeachable offenses this late in his term.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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