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Poll Shows Majority of Americans Wouldn’t Mind if Coronavirus Outbreak Contained Only to Oval Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A new poll just released shows that a majority of Americans wouldn't mind it in the slightest if a coronavirus outbreak...

Crypt Keeper Going As Kellyanne Conway For Halloween This Year

KASSIR FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- Each year, residents The Crypt Keeper's sleepy California town take bets on what he'll be for Halloween, and this year...

Trump Offers Dems Border Wall Compromise of Giant Retractable Dome

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- With the government shut down for over two weeks, and House Democrats showing no sign of budging on his demands, President...

Sarah Sanders Confidently and Stridently Incorrectly Explains To Her Ham Sandwich How Government is Funded

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A contentious moment between White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and a reporter during press briefing this week left many...

Court Filings Reveal FBI’s Code Name for Don Jr: Individual-IQ-1

BENEDICT, NEW YORK -- Last week, court filings in FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller's prosecution of Michael Cohen, the former personal attorney for President...

Trump Promises Supporters He’ll Never Die ‘Like That Cuck Bush’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite prior tensions between the Bush family and President Donald Trump, the alleged billionaire and reality-TV host still ended up attending...

Trump Jr. Tells Mueller He’ll Roll Over on ‘The Actual U.S. President’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, President Donald Trump unleashed another torrent of angry tweets about Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into Russian...

Soldier Deployed At Border Hopes His Kevlar Vest Is Rock-Proof

LOS CHINGADORES DE CULEROS NARANJOS, TEXAS -- Since last week, President Donald Trump has deployed American troops to the southern border between the U.S....

White House Offers Compromise: Birthright Citizenship For White Babies Only

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump set the American political scene on fire when Axios reported that he plans to sign an...

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