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Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next Civil War’

CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former President Don Trump held a klanpaign rally in Texas, and he gave the...

MyPillow Guy: Sasquatch Will Swear Trump Back Into Office by the End of August

By the end of August, MyPillow CEO and 2002 Crack Weekly's "Crackhead of the Year" Mike Lindell says that Donald Trump will be president again. This...

Dana Rohrabacher Says He Only Attended Trump’s Insurrection to ‘Lend Moral and Tactical Support’

On January 6th, 2021, former President Donald Trump threw up the most significant Hail Mary pass in the history of the United States, but...

McConnell Says He’d Oppose January 6th Commission Even If He Weren’t Covered in Trump’s Ball Juice

"When have you ever known Mitch McConnell to be a petty, partisan hack?" WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Even if he were not completely and utterly drenched,...

Dear Liberals: Just Like Trickle Down Economics and Iraq’s WMD Program, Voter Fraud is Real

Editor's Note: The following op-ed was written by Dustin Pewpson, a fellow at the National Reagan Institute and a Trump campaign adviser. The views...

Gaetz: “Real Patriots Don’t Ever Abandon Their Deeply Unpopular, One-Term, Impeached Loser Cry Baby President”

LAKE FUKFAYCE, FLORIDA -- For one of Donald Trump's most loyal congressional servants, there will never be another president, and he means that quite...

The Klan Told McEnany She’s ‘Too Full of Shit’ to Work For Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Someday very soon, White Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany is going to need a new gig. Despite all of her current boss's...

Tulsi Gabbard Votes “Present” on Bill Condemning Rectal Warts

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Future third party presidential candidate Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-UpHerOwnAss) took yet another somewhat inexplicable stance on the House floor yesterday. In...

Progressive Voter Would Rather Have Another Trump Term Than an Imperfectly Progressive Candidate

NEARSIGHTED VALLEY, MICHIGAN -- 42 year old John Jacobson considers himself a progressive voter. That doesn't mean he always votes for one party's candidates,...

Seating Chart Places President At Kids’ Table for White House Thanksgiving Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's not for another couple of weeks, preparations are underway for another Thanksgiving dinner at the White House under the...

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