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Trump Demands Disneyland Post ICE Guards at Entrance to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Disneyland Park opens its new Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge attraction, it's expected to help shatter attendance records. Reportedly, the new...

Elon Musk Buys and Reveals Star Wars Episode IX Title

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Fandom of the sci-fi/fantasy film franchise known as "Star Wars" have been clamoring for news of the title for the...

Alt-Right Star Wars Fan Explains Why His Racism, Sexism, and General Bigotry Are Saving Franchise

SCUMMANVILLANEE BAY, MINNESOTA -- Phillip Patterson is as about as die-hard a Star Wars fan as you will ever meet, but he says he plans to...

Neil deGrasse Tyson Hired As Script Consultant For “Star Wars: Episode IX”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The Disney Corporation has announced that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson has been brought on board the production team for the upcoming...

Local Man’s Brother Still Hasn’t Forgiven Him For Trading Away Admiral Ackbar Action Figure in 1984

GRASS VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billy Finnegan has been trying desperately for over 30 years to get Travis, his older brother, to let go of...

Emperor Palpatine Tells Vader He Doesn’t Want Any Shithole Planets Joining The Empire

CORUSCANT, INNER CORE -- Sources close to the High Galactic Emperor Sheev Palpatine are reporting at the time of publication that he has directed...

Man Worried He Has To Get Swastika Tattoo If He Has Criticisms Of “The Last Jedi”

A local man in his late thirties expressed concerns this week that if he airs any of his grievances with "Star Wars: The Last...

All The Ways The Last Jedi Is A Totally New Departure For Star Wars And Nothing Like The Other Films

The fan reaction to the latest Star Wars movie has been mixed, to say the least. While it seems the majority of die-hards believe that the...

Episode IX Leak: Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO, Motion Pictures, The Force, And Star Wars All Die In Final Film Of New Trilogy

If you're a fan of Star Wars, perhaps it has not always been a pleasant experience for you when new films in the franchise come out....

The Most Extensive List Of The Last Jedi Spoilers Anywhere

Not everyone likes spoilers, we get that here. In fact, many people go through great efforts to avoid spoilers for movies, TV shows, and...

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