Wednesday, July 28, 2021
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Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest operating system at the specific direction of its founder and...

The Free Market Just Cured AIDS And Cancer All On Its Own!

The American Medicinal Association of America has just made a stunning and likely world-changing announcement -- AIDS and cancer have both been simultaneously cured...

Betsy DeVos Orders Immediate Flattening Of All School Globes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos issued an order that all globes being used in any American school are to be...

David “Avocado” Wolfe Named FDA High Wizard Chieftain Of Raw Foods And Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced that he has created and filled a new important position in the federal government, today from the...

Tilapia Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren told a radio host today that she was about to...

New Study Reveals Inverse Relationship Between Penis Size And Times Word “Cuck” Is Used

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that the more someone uses the word "cuck" in their everyday speech, the smaller...

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