Tag: satirist

CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to ...

Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain

ANALSLIME, CALIFORNIA — This week, Disney became the latest corporation to reconcile its problematic ...

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest ...

Stupidfuck Training to Become Dumbfuck

MORON VALLEY, MINNESOTA — Marcus Palumbozo is a stupidfuck. He has all the certifications ...

Confused Health Guru Contracts COVID-19 Despite Using His Best Turmeric Chakra Cleanse

KARMA VALLEY, OREGON — 53-year-old self-described “health guru” Pat Kinnerson just got a confirmed, ...

Man Issues Formal Apology to Every Woman He Couldn’t Make Come

HIDDEN GORGE, CALIFORNIA — This week, fifteen women throughout the country received the same ...

Report: They’re Still Fighting Over the Fucking PS4 Controllers

LOS CHICOS LUCHANDO, ARIZONA — There are more than one PS4 controller in their ...

CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic

ATLANTA, GEORGIA –Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement ...

Married Couple Might Get to Fuck Again Some Day

SAN GUILLERMO, CALIFORNIA — Neither one of them are to blame, when you get ...

Town Goes Nuts for Local Man’s Pubic Topiaries

CHEVEUX DU SUD, LOUISIANA — For the last several days, the gallery in artist ...

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