Tuesday, April 13, 2021
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Republican Party Developing Its Own App for Sex Payments

The Republican Party has begun work on developing its own proprietary payment app, which it will require politicians in the GOP to use when...

Michele Bachmann Sees Her Own ‘Undeniable Genius’ in Lauren Boebert

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During her time in the U.S House of Representatives, Republican Michele Bachmann made quite the reputation for herself. Bachmann's penchant for...

Jordan Demands Hunter Biden Testify About Why Hillary Won’t Testify About Benghazi’s Connection to Trump’s Call to Ukraine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Trump's Rectum) was given his first opportunity to take part in an impeachment proceeding undertaken by the...

Doctors Marvel at Discovery of Vertebrate Republican

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, scientists and medical professionals were stunned, shocked, but ultimately quite excited about the re-discovery of a species of...

Alabama GOP Releases Pamphlet: 10 Things We’ll Still Let You Do With Your Vagina

FORT ENFANT MARIÉE, ALABAMA --  The Republican caucus within Alabama's state legislature, perhaps under pressure from negative press generated by the state's controversial new...

Flags And McCain’s War Boner at Half Mast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From sea to shining sea, from New York to California, from red states to blue states to confederate states that vote...

Paul Ryan Worried He’ll Never Get Laid Again Once He Quits Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Randian Dystopia) announced that he would finish out his current term in the...

Trump Tells Mueller FBI Better Not Send Any Democrats To Arrest Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has sent a sternly worded letter to Special Counsel Robert Mueller, demanding that any FBI agents sent to...

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