Tag: political satire

NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA — Yesterday, NASCAR announced that it was banning the display of ...

Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce

DUMBERG, OHIO — The village idiots of a town in Ohio stormed their town’s ...

Florida Deems Rub-n-Tug Massage Parlors ‘Essential Businesses’

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — This week, the State of Florida labeled professional wrestling an “essential ...

David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been ...

Mark Meadows Named White House Grand Imperial Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, Donald Trump announced that his loyal and faithful servant, Chief ...

NRA Backs Trump’s Proposed ‘Second Amendment Cure’ for Coronavirus

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — The National Rifle Association has released a statement supporting an unorthodox ...

CDC Issues Guidelines for Safe Handjobs During Coronavirus Outbreak

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Centers for Disease Control issued a new set of guidelines ...