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Mike Pence

Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next Civil War’

CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former President Don Trump held a klanpaign rally in Texas, and he gave the...

Pence Says He’s Forgiven Trump for Jan 6th Because ‘Jesus Said to Spread the Other Cheek’

MOSES HILLS, INDIANA -- Speaking before a packed, maskless congregation at a prayer breakfast hosted by a church in his home state, former Vice...

Divorcing Pence and Trump Argue Over Who Gets Custody of Imprisoned Children at Border

America's most bitterly public divorce just got, somehow, even more testy. That's because outgoing lame duck one-term President Donald Trump and his Vice President...

Mike Pence Will Certify Biden’s Win, But Not Take Trump’s Dong Out of His Mouth First

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This might the toughest spot Mike Pence has found himself in since he "accidentally" stumbled upon a late-night broadcast of the...

Pence Told Reporters He’s Been ‘Poked By Enough Guys’ Before Not to Be Nervous About Coronavirus Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, wearing a short-sleeved, plaid print button-up shirt, outgoing Vice President Mike Pence received a dose of a coronavirus vaccine. Pence...

David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been "contained" in the United States, President Donald Trump is still...

Key Figures in Trump Ukraine Scandal Cast in Reboot of Classic American Movie

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- During an investor call this morning, the Executive Director of Creative Projects for Cinemagic Films announced that the studio has acquired...

Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1819” On All His Checks And Policy Proposals

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Reverend Pastor Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most...

Gordon Sondland Passed His Bus Driver Exam Just Before Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that, prior to his testimony before the House Intelligence Committee's impeachment hearing this morning,...

News of Planned Parenthood Refusing Federal Funding Sparks Impromptu Spank-Off Between Pence, Santorum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice-President Mike Pence and failed presidential candidate, former Senator Rick Santorum are reportedly locked eye to eye in what's being billed...

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