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Monday, August 15, 2022
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Joe Biden

The Pastiche Post

Data Shows Jim Jordan 3x More Likely to Find Wife’s Clitoris Than Evidence Trump Won Election

James Schlarmann -
Data from a newly published report seems to indicate that Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) has a three-times better chance of finding his wife's clitoris...
The Pastiche Post

He Spent $150 on “Let’s Go Brandon” Merch and Now Biden Won’t Let Him Fill His Gas Tank

James Schlarmann -
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest episode of his podcast, Jethro Bohiggins told his audience he was in the process of hiring...
The Pastiche Post

D.C. Sewage Plant Apologizes For Letting Two Turds Escape During Biden’s State of the Union

James Schlarmann -
https://youtu.be/ITHTv_l_kQU WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At some point in the past, two turds escaped from a sewage treatment plant in the nation's capital, and wound-up attending...
The Pastiche Post

Marjorie Greene Has Spent So Much in Mask Fines, She Wishes Biden Was Giving Away Crack Pipes

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how much explaining the Biden White House does, it does not appear that it will be able to persuade...
The Pastiche Post

Obama Tells Biden He Can ‘Think of One Black Woman With a Law Degree’ to Replace Breyer

James Schlarmann -
President Joe Biden is currently conducting a search for someone to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. Much to the chagrin of rank...
The Pastiche Post

Mike Lindell Claims to Have Evidence Millions of Americans ‘Wanted Trump to Lose’

James Schlarmann -
Mike Lindell, the embattled CEO of MyPillow and MyCrackpipe, announced on Steve Bannon's podcast yesterday that he has "100% irrefutable proof" of something he...
The Pastiche Post

Graham Blasts Biden For “Politicizing” Politically-Motivated Terrorist Attack

James Schlarmann -
The morning of the anniversary of the most violent attack on the U.S. Capitol since the country's inception, President Joe Biden gave a fiery...
The Pastiche Post

Local Idiot Thinks Presidents Control Gas Prices

James Schlarmann -
BARONTOWN, MISSISSIPPI -- Town moron and well-known local idiot Matthew Palumricci admits that he has no earthly clue how, exactly, prices in the oil...
The Pastiche Post

Biden Says Treasury Will Add “In Soros We Trust” to All Currency

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has directed the United States Treasury to prepare the necessary paperwork and draw up new plans for adding...
The Pastiche Post

Which of These Adorable Outfits Goes Best With Kyrsten Sinema’s Depraved Indifference to Human Suffering?

James Schlarmann -
Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) has made quite the name of herself since ousting fellow Republican Martha McSally. Sinema has surprised many who presumed...
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