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Jeff Sessions

Jeff Sessions: Spike Lee ‘Should Be Arrested for Making His Joints, Not Given Awards’

WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite quick service seafood restaurant this afternoon and asked about Spike...

Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards

WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite quick service seafood restaurant this afternoon and asked about Spike...

Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile

GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his resignation, he boarded a privately chartered plane, and took off...

Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians

LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple of Dark Red -- a Satanic cult whose practices include...

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

This story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, first responders are still trying to extricate the...

California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID

EL DORADO VERDE  VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made a visit to Sacramento and formally announced that the Trump...

Petition Started To Remove Confederate Monument From Attorney General’s Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A new petition has been circulating online and is gathering momentum. The petition seeks to have either the Donald Trump presidential...

Keurig Releases Roy Moore Model That Uses 14-Year Old Covfefe Pods

READING, MASSACHUSETTS -- In the face of a conservative boycott of their products, Keurig has announced a new product line they hope will win...

Jeff Sessions Reveals Himself As Member Of The Keebler Klux Klan

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is abuzz with rampant rumor and speculation after an explosive new email leaked from somewhere within the Department...

Trump Preemptively Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Says He Didn’t Do

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's Russian headaches will not go away. For over a year, allegations of connections between Russia and his campaign, now...

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