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Saturday, December 3, 2022
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Ivanka Trump

The Pastiche Post

Trump’s Lawyers Advise Him to Throw All His Kids Under the Bus, Even the Ones He Wants to Fuck

James Schlarmann -
News out of the New York State's Attorney General's office has not been good for former, one term, defeated President Don Trump over the...
The Pastiche Post

Trump Family Moves Annual Christmas Party from White House to White Powerhouse

James Schlarmann -
The annual Trump Christmas Party will not be held at the same location that called it home for the past four years, despite the...
The Pastiche Post

Trump Orders McCarthy to Put the Former First Lady on January 6th Commission

James Schlarmann -
BAD MINCER, NEW JERSEY -- This morning, former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump met with House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA)...
The Pastiche Post

Biden Tells Space Force to Stop Pointing Telescope at Ivanka’s Bedroom

James Schlarmann -
President Joe Biden ordered Space Force to "immediately reposition" a massive telescope  miles away from the Earth's orbit and point it away from the...
The Pastiche Post

Trump Jr. Furious His Dad Will Pay for Ivanka’s OnlyFans But Not a Cameo From Him

James Schlarmann -
"Listen here, you tell him that I am not coming to his next rally if he doesn't do at least one Cameo with me,...
The Pastiche Post

Over Christmas, Trump’s Kids Asked Him If They Can Strip the White House of Silverware and Copper Wiring

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outwardly, the President of the United States of America is doing what he's done his whole life -- projecting a reality...
The Pastiche Post

Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- None of the legal proceedings initiated by the Trump campaign have resulted in any reported results or projections being changed or...
The Pastiche Post

President Trump Devastated First Lady Forgot Him On Valentine’s Day Again This Year

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's Valentine's Day today, but that doesn't mean that President Trump is in good spirits. Sources close to the situation say...
The Pastiche Post

Kushner, Ivanka, Donald Jr, and Eric Trump Condemn Bidens’ Nepotism

James Schlarmann -
In a joint letter from some of President Donald J. Trump's offspring and son-in-law, the "sheer and galling level of nepotism" involved in Hunter...
The Pastiche Post

Ken Starr Asked Monica Lewinsky For Presidential Blowjob Advice Before His Impeachment Defense of Trump

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, during the White House legal counsel's second day of opening arguments in the impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump,...
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