Sunday, February 28, 2021
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Scientist Says Boebert Was Created In a Lab With Sarah Palin’s Brain and Wayne LaPierre’s Dick Sweat

Recent GED recipient, former diarrhea inducing BBQ chef, and newly minted, freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert loves guns. She ran her campaign on a big...

NRA Backs Trump’s Proposed ‘Second Amendment Cure’ for Coronavirus

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- The National Rifle Association has released a statement supporting an unorthodox idea floated by President Donald J. Trump's. Reportedly, last night,...

Santa Claus Asks Gun Owners to Stow Weapons Before He Comes

NORTH POLE, EARTH -- Kristopher Q. Kringle, known around the world by his stage name Santa Claus, has issued a request in the hours...

Starbucks Asks Customers Not To Open Carry Vape Pens in Stores

SEATTLE, WASHINGSTONED -- Coffee retailer Starbucks is joining a growing list of businesses that is asking customers not to bring personal items into their...

Local Mom Hopes Her Teenage Daughter Dies a Hero at School Today

LAKE LE'TARGET, MINNESOTA -- As 41 year old Carol Scoffley hugged her 13 year old daughter before school today, she had just one thought...

Weather Channel Adding Local Mass Shooting Forecasts to U.S. Broadcasts

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Weather Channel announced late this week that will start including hourly, daily, and weekly mass shooting forecasts in their local...

Florida Teen Skirts Waiting Period and Performs Own Abortion With AR-15

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, FLORIDA -- Back in April of this year, 28 year old nurse and Florida resident Jane Sampson was raped while walking home...

NRA Spokesterrorist Suggests Schools Relocate To Colt, Bushmaster Factories

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Dana Loesch, the NRA's official spokesterrorist, recently told a group of gun enthusiasts that she thinks the Parkland, Florida school shooting...

NRA Executive Just Two More School Shootings From Being Able To Afford Fourth Vacation Home

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Today, during a board meeting of the executives of the National Rifle Association, board member Tim Timberlake said that thanks to the...

Why Won’t You Just Let Me Stockpile Arms Against You, People Who Think Like You, Your Children, And Our Government, Libtards?

The following is an op-ed by Bill Dickerdolldildo, founder of Totes Biased America, leading voice in right-wing Facebook commentary. The views and expressed herein...

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