Monday, August 15, 2022
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gun violence

NRA Reminds Americans They Don’t Give a Fuck How Many of Their Friends and Family Get Shot

For most of 2020, Americans were dealing with a global covid-19 pandemic outbreak, and as such the number of mass shootings in this country...

Weather Channel Adding Local Mass Shooting Forecasts to U.S. Broadcasts

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Weather Channel announced late this week that will start including hourly, daily, and weekly mass shooting forecasts in their local...

NRA Executive Just Two More School Shootings From Being Able To Afford Fourth Vacation Home

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Today, during a board meeting of the executives of the National Rifle Association, board member Tim Timberlake said that thanks to the...

President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out Screaming 10 Minutes Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his administration bravely charging into a screening room that was showing...

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Many Americans might have gotten the sense in the last fifteen years or so that weekly, if not daily, incidents of...

Adults Demand Teenagers Stop Effectively Demonstrating How Much They Failed To Protect Their Kids

GREEN GLEN, FLORIDA -- A group of concerned adults was seen chastising a group of teenagers of equal size this weekend, in a small...

Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that he won't have time to equivocate about gun violence in...

Gun Enthusiast Can’t Figure Out Why Gasoline Didn’t Put Out His House Fire

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- Phillip Grant is known best on Facebook and in libertarian social media circles as The Neoteric Libertarian. He is a...

Trump Worried He Hasn’t Made The Murder Of School Children About Him Enough

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- This morning, President Trump was stopped by reporters as he existed the clubhouse, headed for the first tee on the course...

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