Electoral College

The Pastiche Post

Trump Demands the Electoral College Declare Larry Elder Governor of California

James Schlarmann - September 15, 2021

FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Over the course of four years, Donald Trump got quite used to issuing orders and having them carried out at...

The Pastiche Post

Mike Pence Will Certify Biden’s Win, But Not Take Trump’s Dong Out of His Mouth First

James Schlarmann - January 6, 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This might the toughest spot Mike Pence has found himself in since he "accidentally" stumbled upon a late-night broadcast of the...

The Pastiche Post

President Declares Tampa Bay Rays Winners of World Series ‘By Electoral College Rules’

James Schlarmann - October 30, 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Los Angeles Dodgers capped off a season for the ages, one marked by the much shortened schedule, thanks to the...

The Pastiche Post

Trump Declares South Electoral College Winners Of Civil War

James Schlarmann - December 26, 2017

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Just hours after triumphantly declaring a victory in the War on Christmas, President Donald Trump gave a late Christmas gift to...

Electoral College

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Data Shows Jim Jordan 3x More Likely to Find Wife’s Clitoris Than Evidence Trump Won Election

New Leak Indicates Supreme Court Will Overturn the Right to Eat Eggs