Tag: COVID-19

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest ...

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon Musk wanted his ...

Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown

SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY — They don’t know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky’s ...

Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak

ROMERO, MICHIGAN — A group of about three hundred took to their local city ...

Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus

Researchers at the Centers For Uncontrolled Diseases excitedly announced today that, thanks to this ...

Local Stripper Practicing Giving Lap Dances from Six Feet Away

VALLE DE LAS CHICHIS, CALIFORNIA — Candy Sparkles is not her real name, but ...

Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce

DUMBERG, OHIO — The village idiots of a town in Ohio stormed their town’s ...

Confused Health Guru Contracts COVID-19 Despite Using His Best Turmeric Chakra Cleanse

KARMA VALLEY, OREGON — 53-year-old self-described “health guru” Pat Kinnerson just got a confirmed, ...

CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone ...

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