Tag: Coronavirus
Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”
DALLASS, TEXASS — This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones — whose body and ...
CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated study on the ...
COVID-19 Forces Jesus to Delay Second Coming
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — Concerns about the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak, particularly in the ...
CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to ...
Surgeons Asphyxiating From Wearing Masks Up 10,000,000,000,000% Since COVID-19 Outbreak
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The National Medical Research Institute of America has just ...
Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest ...
World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon Musk wanted his ...
Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown
SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY — They don’t know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky’s ...
Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak
ROMERO, MICHIGAN — A group of about three hundred took to their local city ...
Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus
Researchers at the Centers For Uncontrolled Diseases excitedly announced today that, thanks to this ...