Tag: coronavirus memes
Florida Deems Rub-n-Tug Massage Parlors ‘Essential Businesses’
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — This week, the State of Florida labeled professional wrestling an “essential ...
Confused Health Guru Contracts COVID-19 Despite Using His Best Turmeric Chakra Cleanse
KARMA VALLEY, OREGON — 53-year-old self-described “health guru” Pat Kinnerson just got a confirmed, ...
CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone ...
Nickelback Fan Can’t Tell Who’s Socially Distancing Themselves From Him During Coronavirus Quarantine
COLD BEACH, WASHINGTON — Pat Jackson is a huge fan of the band Nickelback. ...
CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic
ATLANTA, GEORGIA –Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement ...
CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus, ...
Disneyland Having All Its Caribbean Pirates Tested for Coronavirus
ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA — The Walt Disney Company announced this week that for the first ...
David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been ...
CDC Issues Guidelines for Safe Handjobs During Coronavirus Outbreak
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Centers for Disease Control issued a new set of guidelines ...