Saturday, October 23, 2021
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Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce

DUMBERG, OHIO -- The village idiots of a town in Ohio stormed their town's retail centers, demanding that they be allowed to shop in...

Stupidfuck Training to Become Dumbfuck

MORON VALLEY, MINNESOTA -- Marcus Palumbozo is a stupidfuck. He has all the certifications he needs for the federal government to recognize his stupidfuck...

Man Issues Formal Apology to Every Woman He Couldn’t Make Come

HIDDEN GORGE, CALIFORNIA -- This week, fifteen women throughout the country received the same letter from local resident Jerry Maloenelsexo, apologizing for his "inability"...

Report: They’re Still Fighting Over the Fucking PS4 Controllers

LOS CHICOS LUCHANDO, ARIZONA -- There are more than one PS4 controller in their house, but each of the brothers at the center of...

Quarantined Cruise Passenger: Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak

ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA -- When she boarded the Queen's Line cruise liner in Hawaii, 42 year old Karen Schufflebohrdt says she had no clue...

Married Couple Might Get to Fuck Again Some Day

SAN GUILLERMO, CALIFORNIA -- Neither one of them are to blame, when you get them alone and ask them individually, for the lack of...

Town Goes Nuts for Local Man’s Pubic Topiaries

CHEVEUX DU SUD, LOUISIANA -- For the last several days, the gallery in artist Terry Murkin's small Louisiana hometown has been fielding calls about...

Coronavirus Threat Could Mean Millions of Americans Don’t Pretend to Be Irish Stereotypes This Year

All across America, cities and towns are holding emergency council meetings to determine if a potential widespread, pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus should...

Dad’s Jokes Might Be Better If He Had Time to Hit Open Mics Instead of Working Two Jobs to Support You Fuckin’ Ingrates

PADRECHISTE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- 43 year old Chuck Charleston likes to tell jokes to keep his family from letting life get too serious. Chuck's...

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