Sunday, February 28, 2021
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Trump Impeachment Attorney: “If My Client Is Full Of Shit, You Must Acquit!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Michael Van der Veen, attorney representing former President Mushroomdong in his second impeachment trial, told Senators in his closing argument today...

Palin Donates Half Her Brain to Boebert and Doubles Her Cognitive Capacity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning and unforeseen development, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has donated half her brain to freshman Congresswoman Lauren...

GOP Donors Tell Trump They Want Evidence He Can Read Before Giving to His Presidential Library

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald J. Trump will only be president for about another 48 hours, and at that point President-elect Joe Biden will take...

Biden Says He’ll Ask Nuclear Codes to Be Changed From ‘Password123’

This story is reprinted entirely with permission from NotReally.News. DELAWARE -- Incoming President-elect Joe Biden told reporters today that Americans should "expect to see a...

White House Engineers Preparing to Remove Baby Gates and Bumper Rails

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In just a matter of days, a new president will be sworn-in, and all over the Hill, preparations are being made...

Genealogist Discovers Recessive ‘Beta’ Gene In People Who Violently Protest Accepting Defeat

Last week, America witnessed in horror as thousands of angry, bitter people stormed the capitol, vandalizing the seat of government and attempting a coup...

Trump Jr. to Hannity: “You Ever Notice the Democrats Won’t Impeach The President of China?”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- He might keep making allegations about last November's election being "stolen" from his father, but Donald Trump Jr is...

Biden Says Stacey Abrams Can Be “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”

In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States of America. When that happens, there can be no...

Mike Pence Will Certify Biden’s Win, But Not Take Trump’s Dong Out of His Mouth First

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This might the toughest spot Mike Pence has found himself in since he "accidentally" stumbled upon a late-night broadcast of the...

Mexico Offers to Pay for Trump’s Movers

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Mexican government has offered to foot the bill for any company hired to move outgoing President Donald Trump's belongings...

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