Tag: comedian

Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

FORT ACAB, TENNESSEE — A man convicted of first degree murder was unexpectedly released ...

Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”

DALLASS, TEXASS — This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones — whose body and ...

CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated study on the ...

Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain

ANALSLIME, CALIFORNIA — This week, Disney became the latest corporation to reconcile its problematic ...

Police Union Suggests Banning Camera Phones Would Eliminate Brutality and Excessive Force

LA VALLE DE PUERCA, CALIFORNIA — The United National Fraternity of Law Enforcement, one ...

Alphabet Announces New Porn-Only Web Browser Called “Google Cream”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — For years now, millions of users have surfed websites ...

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest ...

Man Dumbfounded That Clothes Left Next to Hamper Are Still Washed and Folded

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO — A Colorado man has reported miraculous laundry patterns in his ...

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon Musk wanted his ...