Monday, January 17, 2022

Hannity And Limbaugh: Obama Once Used A Copy Of Forbes Magazine To Spank A Fly

WASHINGTON, D.C. — While the Obama Administration faced a few scandal investigations in its eight year tenure, none of them bore any fruit enough for Republicans, who controlled both houses of Congress for much of those years, to act on. Despite millions and millions of dollars spent on investigations, no major indictments were seen. Generally speaking, most on The Hill view Obama’s years as being relatively free of any legacy tarnishing events.

But all that might change now, thanks to an explosive new story being pushed by right-wing media titans Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh.

“All this Stormy Daniels talk is just a distraction from the VERY OBVIOUS deep state plot to remove Donald Trump from office, just because he may have agreed to help Russian oligarchs and Vladimir Putin launder their ill-gotten gains,” Hannity told radio listeners today. “And you know, like always the LAMESTREAM, FAKE NEWS PRESS is being hypocritical and covering up for Barack Obama.”

Hannity told his listeners about a story that he saw on Breitbart and InfoWars.

“So you know you can trust it as being completely true and accurate, unlike, say, The Failing New York Times. A source very close to the Secret Kenyan tells us that spanking with Forbes magazine isn’t just something Big Daddy God Emperor Trump likes.”

According to Hannity, reporters at Breitbart uncovered a witness who says she saw Obama using a Forbes magazine to spank someone who “clearly did not want a spanking” and was “giving many body language cues” to that effect.

“And that monster,” Limbaugh would tell his own audience this morning, “took that Forbes magazine and he spanked a harmless fly with it. Now, I ask you, what did that fly know about Benghazi? Maybe that fly knew nothing, sure, I guess I can concede that, but what if that fly knew EVERYTHING? Ladies and gentlemen, we will never know what that fly knew will we?”

Limbaugh called on Congress to “do the right thing” and immediately launch an investigation into what he’s no calling “FlyGate.”

“And the worst part is, everyone,” Hannity screeched, “the fly is dead! We can’t even ask the fly how violated they felt by Obama’s unwanted spanking because Obama killed that fly!”

President Obama could not be reached for comment.

You can read satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

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