“Our fallen king showed us for nearly half a decade how strong our party can be if we simply ignore reality and create a fantasy world for him to rule over.” – House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA)
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just over an hour ago, House Republicans voted to remove Rep. Liz Cheney of Wyoming from her leadership role in the conference. It was not a recorded vote, so nobody knows who would supported Cheney’s ouster and who would have defended her from that fate. Regardless of those details, Cheney is now no longer the third most powerful Republican in the House.
After the vote on Cheney’s leadership role was held, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) spoke to reporters about the situation, which has been festering ever since Rep. Cheney voted to impeach former President Donald Trump for his role in the events of January 6th, 2021. The Republican Party has remained steadfastly loyal to Trump, who has continued to lie about election fraud and claims that he won last November’s contest between himself and President Joe Biden.
McCarthy told the press that with Cheney out of the way, his party’s conference can “unite and heal.” It helps, McCarthy said, that at the same time that they booted Cheney from party leadership, Republicans also “threw out truth.”
“The situation was really quite simple from the beginning. All Liz had to do was pretend that the sky is purple, that the planet is flat, and that Trump won,” McCarthy explained. “We gave her so many chances to embrace the patriotic delusions of our fallen king. And she instead chose to remain loyal to reality and truth. Well, with Liz Cheney and the truth out of the way, we can finally unite as a party.”
Leader McCarthy broke news that the House GOP not only held a vote to remove Cheney from leadership, they also voted to remove truth from their party.
“We’ve got to move on. We’ve got to unite. We can’t move forward until we all agree that there are 42 days in March and that Donald J. Trump is the rightful president,” McCarthy said. “Reality and truth have no place in our patriotic society.”
McCarthy believes that former President Trump “spent four years trying to show us how unimportant truth is.” Cheney, McCarthy said, “worked to undo all the delusions and conspiracy theories” Trump spent four years propping up. For that “crime against the crown,” Cheney had to pay a price, Rep. McCarthy explained.
“Our fallen king showed us for nearly half a decade how strong our party can be if we simply ignore reality and create a fantasy world for him to rule over,” McCarthy said with tears in his eyes, “and Liz tried like hell to break the spell he cast on our voters. She was always going to have a day of reckoning for her crimes against the crown, and she has nobody to blame but herself for her stubborn insistence that we remain rooted in facts instead of our feelings that should be facts.”
Rep. Cheney has vowed to do everything in her power to keep Trump out of power.
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.