Friday, May 7, 2021

Klansman Outraged That Republicans Keep Claiming He’s a Democrat

COUSINDOINK, MISSISSIPPI — There are many things you can call 46-year-old Matthew Palomba: conservative, pro-MAGA, and even “klansman.” Matt doesn’t deny the fact that he’s a member of the Ku Klux Klan; quite the opposite. He’s the rare klansman that doesn’t even feel the need to wear his hood unless it’s part of a klan rally or event and he wants to “honor the haters who came before [him].”

One thing he wants everyone to stop calling him?

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“Democrat. Why the fuck does Ted Cruz keep telling people, or at least implying, that I’m a Democrat,” Palomba asked during a recent podcast recording. “What was the point of voting for all those Republicans if I was just gonna get called a Democrat? I mean, I’m a social conservative. I am against minorities having equality and power. Why the hell would I vote for someone in a party who wants to give minorities MORE power? That’s the Democrats, man!”

“I’m a Republican for one simple fact: they’re the ones defending my right to fly this confederate flag at a Robert E. Lee monument. They’re the ones trying to keep the spirit of the most racist movement in American history alive under the guise of preserving history,” Matt opined. “So why in the hell does Ted Cruz keep telling people that I’m a goddamn Democrat?!”

Palomba acknowledged that the KKK was founded and supported by Democrats “in the olden times,” but argues “that was then, this is now.”

“I get it. We conservatives love to pretend we don’t live in the times we live in, and can force everyone to go backwards,” Matthew said. “But c’mon! Strom Thurmond literally became a Republican because of the Civil Rights Act. And let’s not forget — the klan is anti-communist and all of we conservatives believe that Democrats are for communism! Why the hell would I vote for people who want things I don’t want?!”

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Mr. Palomba  thinks he’d “prolly be pretty pissed off” if Cruz called him a Democrat “to [his] face.”

“It is interesting to me when someone like Teddy or Matt Gaetz implies that their party — OUR PARTY — isn’t racist just because some Democrats who died a long time ago were racist,” Palomba continued, “but they never have the guts to call me a liberal Democrat to my face, and if they did, I’d prolly be pretty pissed off if he ever did.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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