Saturday, September 18, 2021

Greene and Boebert File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The American right, led by pro-MAGA politicians and media figures, has been in quite a lather over Hunter Biden. Since the election, lurid, tabloid driven stories of Hunter’s trials and tribulations have flooded conservative media sites. In fact, Hunter Biden’s seat on the board of a Ukrainian energy company was at the heart of former, one term, twice forever impeached President Donald Trump’s attempts to extort that country into helping him win last year’s election.

Today, though they could not and did not cite any specific crimes that Hunter Biden has committed, and he holds no public office, freshman Representatives Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) and Mango Craycray Greene (Q-GA) filed Articles of Impeachment against Hunter.

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“Our main charge against Hunter is that he’s a libtarded son of a libtard. Maybe that’s not tech-ma-cally impeachable, but it will be Donald John Trump is back on his throne,” Greene said while also smoking crack during a press conference today. “However, we also hereby charge Hunter with being a Demon-crap AND Joe Biden’s son, which is extremely impeachable!”

Boebert indicated that these might just be the first of several impeachment articles filed against or about Hunter Biden.

“These articles if impeachment are just the first step in destroying President Joe Biden, his family, and the Democrat Party! Then, we can put King Trump back in his throne. Hunter’s going to go through some things now,” Boebert said, “and tomorrow we plan to impeach his laptop!”

Congressman Darrell Issa (Q-CA) praised Boebert and Greene, calling them “two delusional psychopath conspiracy theorists after my own heart.”

“I think what they’re doing is just fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. But if I’m being honest,” Issa said when asked about the impeachment articles today, “I think they’re not going far enough. I’d like to see them impeach Hillary Clinton for Benghazi, or at the very least impeach Hunter for knowing Hillary, who should be impeached for Benghazi. You get it.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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