Thursday, September 16, 2021

Cruz: “Why Hasn’t The Vice President Visited the Border So We Can Criticize What She Does There?”

Appearing on Newsmax TV, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) lashed out at Vice President Kamala Harris for not visiting the southern border between the United States and Mexico yet. According to Cruz, Harris has “become derelict in her duties” and would support impeaching her. It’s unclear at this time of the Constitution provides for such a process.

“So President Joe Biden names Kamala his all-powerful border czarina, or whatever, but she can’t be bothered to go to the border,” Cruz asked rhetorically. “She claims that she’s trying to address the root causes of the problems at the border that have existed for decades before she and Biden took office, but I happen to think it’s simpler than that. Kamala Harris has become derelict in her duties, and I’ve already been in consultation with the Federalist Society to see if we can find some clause in the Constitution to impeach and remove her for this.”

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Sen. Cruz admitted that even if Harris had gone to the border, there might not have been much she could do, and that tackling the root causes of migration out of Central American countries would “do a lot of good” to reduce the chaos at the border. However, he also stated that in that scenario, he’d still mock and criticize her.

“If she doesn’t go to the border itself, we criticize and make fun, and if she does go, we criticize and make fun. Because we are patriots, and that’s what patriots do — move the goalposts and complain no matter what because we literally don’t have any good ideas to solve a fucking thing,” Cruz admitted. “So that begs the question — why hasn’t the vice president visited the border so we can criticize what she does there? Or doesn’t do there. Whatever.”

Cruz said Harris is “threatening a vital cog in the American economic machine,” by not giving him and his fellow Republicans a chance to criticize what she says or does while visiting the border.

“Do you know how many breathless op-eds and smug Tucker Carlson monologues Kamala is costing the conservative media industrial complex,” Cruz asked rhetorically. “She’s costing us so many clicks, I think she should be sued, and again, probably impeached for that. We’ll be in touch with lawyers, I can assure you.”

Responding to Cruz’s comments, the Office of the Vice President issued a brief statement.

“Vice President Harris apologizes to Sen. Cruz for not insulting his wife’s looks to get on his good side,” the statement reads, “but if it makes you feel better, Teddy, sure, your wife is ugly as shit. Feel better now, you booger eating fascist?”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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