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Saturday, October 23, 2021
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Texas GOP Wants to Repeal Voting

James Schlarmann -
"We’re so polarized as a nation, and it only makes matters worse when liberals rub it in conservative faces by, like, getting more votes or whatever."
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The President of the United States is No Longer Banned from Twitter

James Schlarmann -
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Twitter announced just after 12:00pm Eastern Time that the President of the United States is no longer permabanned from...
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Eric Trump: “You Can Tell The Election Was Rigged Because Daddy Didn’t Win!”

James Schlarmann -
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Eric Trump, the third-most intelligent male crotch fruit of President Donald J. Trump, is convinced that the election was...
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Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”

James Schlarmann -
DALLASS, TEXASS -- This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones -- whose body and face are 77 and 10 years old respectively -- announced...
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This Cat ‘Pretty Sure’ He’d Be a Better President Than Donald Trump

James Schlarmann -
NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK -- Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He is currently residing in the same home with the same family he's been...
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A Former President Just Endorsed Donald Trump’s Re-Election Bid

James Schlarmann -
RICHMOND, VIRGINIA -- A former American president has endorsed Donald J. Trump's re-election campaign, sending shock waves through the political commentator class.  Jefferson Davis, the...
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Boston Straight Pride Parade Gives Mike Pence Full-On Chubby

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not the city of Boston permits a "straight pride" parade later this summer, sources close to enough to smell...
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Alabama Grants Personhood to Pre-Ejaculate

James Schlarmann -
LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Republicans in the State of Alabama have been on a tear lately. They've passed the country's most...
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NASA Scientists Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the edge of Donald Trump's stupidity, even after studying over two years of campaign...
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Joe Biden Offers to Just Push His Old Desk Chair to the White House Next November

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, former Vice-President Joe Biden threw his hat into the ring, seeking the Democratic Party's nomination for the upcoming 2020 presidential...
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