Monday, August 15, 2022
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The Pastiche Post

Graham: GOP Will Not Treat Jackson Like a Drunken Rapist Like Dems Treated a Drunken Rapist

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the Senate confirmation process for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, who would become the first African American female Supreme Court...

Senator Accidentally Inserts Hot Stock Tip Into Text of Daylight Savings Bill

https://youtu.be/H3PcHQJJD5M WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A hot stock tip was accidentally inserted into the language of a bill that, if passed through the House and signed...

He Spent $150 on “Let’s Go Brandon” Merch and Now Biden Won’t Let Him Fill His Gas Tank

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest episode of his podcast, Jethro Bohiggins told his audience he was in the process of hiring...

Data Shows DeSantis Thinks About Gay Sex More Than Two Dudes Banging

https://youtu.be/ugeC0u5mgJs TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Florida's controversial new "Don't Say Gay" bill is on its way to Gov. Ron DeSantis' desk to sign into law. Once...

Greenwald Will Denounce Ukraine Invasion Just as Soon as Putin Says He Can

https://youtu.be/Z84_8prloRs For several weeks, as U.S. intelligence agencies tried to warn the world that Vlad Putin was preparing to invade Ukraine, super-journalist Glenn Greenwald --...

DeSantis Politely Asked Neo-Nazi to Step Aside So He Could Scold Students Wearing Masks

https://youtu.be/_2AHj4ck8V0 TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Yesterday, Sunshine State Governor and 2021's Donald Trump Impersonator of the Year recipient Ron DeSantis was appearing at a photo op...

D.C. Sewage Plant Apologizes For Letting Two Turds Escape During Biden’s State of the Union

https://youtu.be/ITHTv_l_kQU WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At some point in the past, two turds escaped from a sewage treatment plant in the nation's capital, and wound-up attending...

God Tells Pat Robertson to “Suit Up and Fight for Putin If He Wants the End Times So Badly”

https://youtu.be/xL9fgrDcXr0 KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past weekend, fossilized human and retired televangelist Pat Robertson seemed to throw his support behind Russian President Vladimir...

I’m a Gay Teacher From Florida. Is It Illegal For Me To Introduce Myself To My Class Now?

https://youtu.be/Mplc_09e4f0 The following editorial was written by Gerald Farthing, a 36 year old English teacher living in Lake Stinkhole, Florida. Mr. Farthing is gay and...

Don Jr: “Putin Would Be Too Occupied With Daddy’s Mouth to Invade Ukraine!”

https://youtu.be/aerHKekWOD0 If his father hadn't lost both the 2020 election and the 2021 insurrection, Donald Trump Jr is convinced that Russian President Vladimir Putin would...

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