Saturday, December 3, 2022
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The Pastiche Post

Texas Man Thinks Wife’s OB is a Groomer Because They Couldn’t Find the Fetus’s Genitals

FT. SHITLIP, TEXAS -- A man in the Lonestar State filed a suit in court yesterday, demanding damages from his wife's obstetrician-gynecologist. The lawsuit...

Pregnant Democrat Still Undecided Whether to Murder or Groom Her Fetus

She has some time to decide, but not all that much time, and 28 year old Kim Erickson recently told us in a Skype...

McDonald’s Cashier Offers to Buy Truth Social For 25 Cents Per User

Billionaire Elon Musk joined the board of social media site Twitter this week, after he purchased just under 10% of the company's available stock....

In a Sign of How His War is Going, Putin Ends Draft Exemption for Bone Spurs and Racism

Despite what the Kremlin, or their propagandists such as super-journalist Glenn Greenwald might tell his Twitter followers, Vladimir Putin's illegal and barbaric invasion of...

Gaetz Was ‘Really Hoping’ House Would Decriminalize Weed and Sex Trafficking Minors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, in a historic, but almost entirely party line vote, the House of Representatives passed the "MORE Act," which if...

Disney to Sell MAGA Mickey Ears, Greet Republicans as ‘Domestic Terrorists,’ Not Boys or Girls

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA -- The Walt Disney Company has announced that it will begin selling a new line of merchandise and making a few changes...

RNC Calls Smith Slapping Rock “Legitimate Awards Show Discourse”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Republican National Committee issued a statement this morning roundly condemning comedian Chris Rock for "allowing himself to be slapped in...

Rich Cultist Smacks Rich Comedian Who Made Joke at the Expense of Rich Cultist Wife

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Last night, the 94th Annual Academy Awards and Showbiz Self-Fellatio Mass Marketing Gala took place, and as was to be expected,...

Babylon Bee Refuses to Submit to the Woke Mob and Delete N-Word Tweet

The battle between an alleged comedic outlet and one of the largest social media companies on the web won't be over anytime soon. In...

Florida Bans Teaching Any Pronouns to Any Student at Any Grade Level

https://youtu.be/4f5eSK0bp5s TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Republicans in The Gunshine State have pushed a new law through their legislature and onto the desk of Gov. Ron DeSantis,...

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