Monday, August 15, 2022
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CATEGORY

The Pastiche Post

Data Shows Jim Jordan 3x More Likely to Find Wife’s Clitoris Than Evidence Trump Won Election

Data from a newly published report seems to indicate that Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) has a three-times better chance of finding his wife's clitoris...

New Leak Indicates Supreme Court Will Overturn the Right to Eat Eggs

A leaked draft opinion written by Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh indicates that he, and the court's most conservative justices, are poised to strike...

At Our Last Klan Rally, Tucker Carlson Promised Me He Isn’t Racist

The following editorial was submitted by Fritz Palumbozo, a self-described white nationalist and writer for The Dan Bongino Show. Mr. Palumbozo is a frequent contributor...

I Run an Influential TikTok Account That Dehumanizes People. Why Can’t I Anonymously Ruin Lives?

The following editorial was submitted by Karol Markyshittz. Mz. Markyshittz up until very recently was the anonymous account owner of "LibtardedLibTardsofTikTok," which has become...

Greene: Trump Will Declare Marshall Law and Name Eminem Attorney General After He Wins in 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told reporters this morning as she arrived for work on the Hill that she's been speaking...

InbredsOfTikTok Curates Content from Pro-Trump Users

While the Internet debates whether social media accounts that anonymously aggregate content for the purpose of fomenting outrage and directing targeted hate and abuse...

The Only Result I Got From Trying Tucker’s Teste Treatment Is My Balls Look Like Donald Trump

For most of my life, I have taken the advice of trusted medical professionals without much second thought. After the events of this week,...

Martian Hopes Musk Buys Twitter and It Keeps ‘That Billionaire Cretin’ Far Away From His Planet

Meepzorp is a resident of the Planet of Mars and recently told our outlet during an interstellar Skype session that they largely stay out...

Florida’s New 15-Week Abortion Ban Really Opens Up Matt Gaetz’ Dating Prospects

On Thursday, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) helped his state join other Republican-controlled legislatures that have recently adopted harsh new bans on abortion. DeSantis...

Literal Dumpster Fire Sues Marjorie Taylor Greene For Copyright Infringement

https://youtu.be/__Csc13aM5A WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is no stranger to a courtroom. Ms. Greene, since joining Congress in January of last...

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