Monday, March 1, 2021
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CATEGORY

Space

Pervy Conspiracy Theorist Storms Area 69 Instead

AREA 69, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION -- While everyone else has been busy preparing for an invasion of Area 51, the government's top secret desert outpost...

Trump: Space Force Will Put Base on Shared Earth/Mars Moon

AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating in ceremonies honoring the 7th Anniversary of D-Day , President....

Trump Says Space Force Has Begun Work on Converting Moon into Death Star

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of Mueller, once Supreme Chancellor Trump has taken on the self-titled mantle of Emperor,...

Trump Asks Ben Carson if He’s ‘Friends With’ the Black Hole in NASA’S Picture

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, NASA released the very first images of a black hole ever. Reaction to the photo was largely positive, though Fox...

Americans Disappointed To Find Out Trump Won’t Be On Falcon Heavy Launch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As SpaceX, billionaire inventor Elon Musk's aerospace company, readies to launch a Saudi communications satellite on its next Falcon Heavy mission...

Tomi Lahren Says NASA’s Black Hole Picture is ‘Reverse Racism’ Because #AllHolesMatter

VALLE INSÍPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist Tomahawk Lahren does not like black holes, and she has made it a lifelong mission of...

NASA Releases Amazing First Ever Pictures of a Black Hole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NASA sent several hundred media outlets the first ever pictures of a black hole. “We've exposed a part of our universe we've...

Elon Musk Buys and Assimilates Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire tech guru and innovator Elon Musk isn't content to just buy and then delete social media monoliths anymore. Musk...

Astronaut Admits He Faked Moon Orgasm

WINDY FALLS, MINNESOTA -- For years, Commander Glenn Mitchum has dined out on the fact that he is one of a handful of humans...

Musk’s Cannabis Accessory Company Working on Anti-Gravity Bong

SWILLY CORN VALLEY -- The Bong Company -- billionaire inventor Elon Musk's recently formed cannabis-centered accessory company -- has announced that it is working...

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