Monday, January 25, 2021
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CATEGORY

Science/Tech

Woman Spends Sixteen Hours A Day Switching Her Facebook Feed From “Top Stories” To “Most Recent”

CLEMMONS PASS, MISSOURI -- Though she doesn't consider herself someone who has to spend a lot of time on social media, 41 year old...

New Scientific Study Identifies Modern Libertarianism As Most Effective Form Of Birth Control

A new study published in the New England Manual For Medicinal Musings may have just identified the most effective contraceptive method developed to date. According...

Astronaut Worried He Doesn’t Have All The Wrong Stuff For Trump’s Space Force

CAPE JUSTICE, FLORIDA -- Astronaut Commander Michael Deckster has been one of the world's most highly trained pilots for more than a decade and...

Stephen Hawking’s Brain Still Operating At Higher Level Than Most Living Humans

JOLLY OLD ENGLANDSHIRE, UK -- Doctors in the United Kingdom announced what they called a "groundbreaking, if not all that terribly surprising" development involving...

David Avocado Wolfe In Critical Condition After Apparent Accidental Crystal Chakra Voodoo Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that lifestyle coach, nutrition guru, and the World's Most Enlightened and...

Americans Disappointed To Find Out Trump Wasn’t On Falcon Heavy

Yesterday, SpaceX, the private sector aerospace development company run by inventor and entrepreneur Elon Musk, launched a rocket they dubbed "Falcon Heavy" into orbit...

Pharmaceutical Company Develops Screechitol, World’s First Auditory Contraceptive

PharmTek Incorporated, a subsidiary of Galactic Chemical Enterprises, announced a new contraceptive they've been developing over the last two years is ready for a...

Study Reveals Inverse Relationship Between Genital Size and Saying “Cuck”

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that the more someone uses the word "cuck" in their everyday speech, the smaller...

Typing “Go Fuck Yourself” On Facebook Now Unleashes A Stream Of Cute Little Animated Dildos

SILICON VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Social media giant Facebook is constantly trying to improve the experience its billions of users have every day on the...

Donald Trump Jr. To Have Breakthrough Plastic Surgery For His ‘Chronic Jizz Face’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing a radical, experimental new plastic surgery procedure, and the hope is that when...

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