Thursday, January 21, 2021
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CATEGORY

Science/Tech

Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Force Users to Like and Follow Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been no big secret around the nation's capital that President Donald Trump is very concerned with his social media presence,...

Mark Zuckerberg Probably Won’t Mind Us Publishing That He Fucks Sheep on Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook, enjoys fucking sheep. At least we're pretty sure he does. Well, let's just say we're sure enough...

NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the edge of Donald Trump's stupidity, even after studying over a year of campaign...

Trump Asks White House Engineers to Downsize the Big Red Button

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The government's top engineers are working hard to retrofit the button that presidents have at their disposal to launch a nuclear...

Researchers Name New Aggressive Form of Rectal Cancer After William Barr

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN -- A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of rectal cancer has been discovered by researchers at Northwest Eastern...

GA Governor Open to Abortion Exception If Fetus Future Democrat

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Georgia Governor Brian Kemp signed a controversial anti-abortion bill into law earlier this week.  The new law bans abortions in the...

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLY CORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new application they say can detect when White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee...

Elon Musk Mulls Acquiring And Then Immediately Deleting Facebook

This story first appeared on Alternative Science. Elon Musk made global headlines when he deleted the official SpaceX and Tesla pages from Facebook. Musk made certain...

Man Not Convinced He Made Right Smartphone Purchase Until He Sends First Unbidden Digital Penile Image With It

LAKE TALLAWAKUR, FLORIDA -- Though he says at this point he's "about 85 to 90 percent sure" about his recent smartphone purchase, the truth...

Woman Spends Sixteen Hours A Day Switching Her Facebook Feed From “Top Stories” To “Most Recent”

CLEMMONS PASS, MISSOURI -- Though she doesn't consider herself someone who has to spend a lot of time on social media, 41 year old...

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