Tuesday, April 13, 2021
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CATEGORY

Science/Tech

FDA Approves New Drug for Patriots Suffering from Insurrectile Dysfunction

Did you recently storm the capitol, vandalize it, harass the police, and act like a total moron for a few hours until the FBI...

Trump Disappointed to Leave Office Without Wind Cancer Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For a one-term president, regrets about unfinished work are par for the course, even for a president as bombastic, self-aggrandizing, and...

Racist Rectal Warts Are Leaving Facebook and Twitter for Parler

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- The battle for social media supremacy is heating up. During the past four years, increasingly conservative users of sites...

Trump Diagnosed With Second Form of ED

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the votes cast in this year's presidential election keep getting counted, it appears more and more that Donald Trump will...

Okay Zuckerberg. You Win. I’ll Become a White Nationalist Domestic Terrorist So I Can Keep Using Facebook.

The following is an editorial from the desk of our founding Editor in Chief. As he is the silly son of a bitch who...

CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated study on the effectiveness of demonic semen, alien DNA, and unicorn blood in...

Surgeons Asphyxiating From Wearing Masks Up 10,000,000,000,000% Since COVID-19 Outbreak

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The National Medical Research Institute of America has just published a report on the incidence of surgeons suffocating from...

Alphabet Announces New Porn-Only Web Browser Called “Google Cream”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- For years now, millions of users have surfed websites using Google's Chrome web browser. Today, Alphabet -- Google's parent...

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will launch its newest operating system at the specific direction of its founder and...

Oprah Winfrey School of Medicine Revokes Degrees Given to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- One of the nation's leading reality-TV medical schools has decided to revoke the degrees they conferred on two of their most...

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