Sunday, February 28, 2021
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CATEGORY

Medicine

Scientist Says Boebert Was Created In a Lab With Sarah Palin’s Brain and Wayne LaPierre’s Dick Sweat

Recent GED recipient, former diarrhea inducing BBQ chef, and newly minted, freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert loves guns. She ran her campaign on a big...

Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in the urgent care facility at First United Baptist Methodist Hospital of Lower South...

Palin Donates Half Her Brain to Boebert and Doubles Her Cognitive Capacity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning and unforeseen development, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has donated half her brain to freshman Congresswoman Lauren...

Genealogist Discovers Recessive ‘Beta’ Gene In People Who Violently Protest Accepting Defeat

Last week, America witnessed in horror as thousands of angry, bitter people stormed the capitol, vandalizing the seat of government and attempting a coup...

FDA Approves New Drug for Patriots Suffering from Insurrectile Dysfunction

Did you recently storm the capitol, vandalize it, harass the police, and act like a total moron for a few hours until the FBI...

Trump Disappointed to Leave Office Without Wind Cancer Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For a one-term president, regrets about unfinished work are par for the course, even for a president as bombastic, self-aggrandizing, and...

Trump Diagnosed With Second Form of ED

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the votes cast in this year's presidential election keep getting counted, it appears more and more that Donald Trump will...

CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated study on the effectiveness of demonic semen, alien DNA, and unicorn blood in...

Surgeons Asphyxiating From Wearing Masks Up 10,000,000,000,000% Since COVID-19 Outbreak

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The National Medical Research Institute of America has just published a report on the incidence of surgeons suffocating from...

Oprah Winfrey School of Medicine Revokes Degrees Given to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- One of the nation's leading reality-TV medical schools has decided to revoke the degrees they conferred on two of their most...

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