Science/Tech

CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

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Surgeons Asphyxiating From Wearing Masks Up 10,000,000,000,000% Since COVID-19 Outbreak

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Alphabet Announces New Porn-Only Web Browser Called “Google Cream”

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Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

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Oprah Winfrey School of Medicine Revokes Degrees Given to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz

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Confused Health Guru Contracts COVID-19 Despite Using His Best Turmeric Chakra Cleanse

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CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats

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David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

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NRA Backs Trump’s Proposed ‘Second Amendment Cure’ for Coronavirus

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CDC Issues Guidelines for Safe Handjobs During Coronavirus Outbreak

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We Interviewed a 2-Month Old Fetus and Got Its Feelings on Abortion

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Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’

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Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Force Users to Like and Follow Him

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Mark Zuckerberg Probably Won’t Mind Us Publishing That He Fucks Sheep on Facebook

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NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

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Trump Asks White House Engineers to Downsize the Big Red Button

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Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

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