Friday, November 26, 2021
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CATEGORY

Science/Tech

We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been painting the teenaged male as someone whose overwhelming worry about the riots taking...

Absolute Monsters Have Masked Stranger Inject 10 Year Old, Protecting Her From Deadly Pandemic

SALK LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- Eyewitnesses say they were "stunned," and their friends and family have expressed some surprise as well. When it was all...

Brandon Can’t Go, Because He Got COVID, Took Horse Dewormer for It, and Died

In what could be devastating news for millions of Confederate Americans, Brandon has died. Despite weeks of public encouragement from pro-MAGA Americans -- including...

Anti-Condom Protesters Storm Porn Set and Demand Actor Be Allowed to Raw Dog Co-Stars

SLAM FERNANDO VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A group of angry protesters, insisting they were there to represent "freedom of medical choice," were escorted forcefully from...

Facebook Hopes Rebranding Itself “WhiteNationalistDumpsterFireBook” Helps Somehow

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facing mounting pressure after a slew of reputation damaging news stories, social media giant Facebook is in the midst...

William Shatner Boldly Goes Where No Other Over-Actor Has Gone Before

Today, 90-year-old William Shatner boarded one of billionaire Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin spaceships and made history. While he became the oldest man to ever...

Stephen Miller Hospitalized With ‘Self-Inflicted Crotch Wound’ After Watching Border Patrol Whip Brown People

REICH LAGOON, FLORIDA -- Former White House senior race war adviser Stephen Miller is reportedly in "serious, but stable condition" after suffering what doctors...

Harvard Med School Opens the Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Virology Research Center

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS -- Harvard Medical School has accepted a large grant from pop star Dr. Nicki Minaj, and will open a brand new virology...

DeSantis: “I’ll Worry About Kids Getting COVID When They’re Old Enough to Vote”

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- This morning, Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) continued his public feud with schools and districts in his state who are resisting his...

CDC Updates Guidance on Covering Your Face With Trump’s Ass to Avoid COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Last year, at one point the Centers for Disease Control believed that in addition to social distancing, washing your hands, and...

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