Monday, January 17, 2022
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CATEGORY

Politics

Hell Does Not Welcome Colin Powell as a Liberator

HELL -- When recently deceased former Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell's soul made it to its...

Pence Says He’s Forgiven Trump for Jan 6th Because ‘Jesus Said to Spread the Other Cheek’

MOSES HILLS, INDIANA -- Speaking before a packed, maskless congregation at a prayer breakfast hosted by a church in his home state, former Vice...

Rip Van Winkle Worries Chuck Grassley Too Young and Inexperienced for Eighth Term

This morning, the living carbon fossil Chuck Grassley announced that he would be running for his eighth term in the U.S. Senate, representing the...

Trump Demands the Electoral College Declare Larry Elder Governor of California

FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Over the course of four years, Donald Trump got quite used to issuing orders and having them carried out at...

New Policy Lets DeSantis Punch Kids in the Mouth for Wearing a Mask

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- A new policy instituted by Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) allows him to punch "any and all students" he encounters who are...

Abbott Unsure How to Eliminate Rapists from Texas and Still Host Trump Rallies

AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q) promised reporters and Texghanistan natives alike this week that rape victims have nothing to worry about when...

Highly Anticipated Durham Report Concludes Joe Biden is Still Donald Trump’s President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For more than a year, pro-MAGA Americans have been on pins and needles awaiting its arrival. Now, finally, Inspector General John...

Graham: Biden Should Be Impeached for Afghanistan and How Little Face-to-Balls Time He Gets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elected pro-MAGA Republicans have been relentless in the past few days in their calls for the impeachment of President Joe Biden....

Pro-MAGA Fire Chief Slams Biden for Putting Out 20 Year Old Fire George W. Bush Started

WHISTLING DICK, MONTANA -- This weekend, President Joe Biden performed what most would call an act of heroism and bravery. While flying over Montana...

Greene and Boebert File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The American right, led by pro-MAGA politicians and media figures, has been in quite a lather over Hunter Biden. Since the...

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