Tuesday, April 13, 2021
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McConnell Promises to Hold Impeachment Trial in Moscow

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said today that "in the interest of fairness and logic" he's going to file a change...

Jordan, Gohmert, Collins Smugly Confident They’ve Convinced America to Impeach Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "We did it, guys. We really fuckin' did it," Congressman Matt Gaetz told reporters, turning to give his fellow House Judiciary...

Bill Barr: “Non-Whites Who Don’t Own Land Voting Sets a Dangerous Precedent of Self-Governance”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr said in a radio interview today that he believes it "sets a dangerous precedent" to let non-white...

Racist, Lying Conman With Tiny Hands, Mushroom Penis, and Bad Spray Tan Who Fantasizes About Boning His Own Daughter Can’t Understand Why Anyone Would...

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Trump just doesn't understand why anyone would ever laugh at his expense, according to sources close to the...

Gordon Sondland Passed His Bus Driver Exam Just Before Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that, prior to his testimony before the House Intelligence Committee's impeachment hearing this morning,...

Clinton Circling Roger Stone’s Court Proceeding Shouting “Gonna Lock Him Up!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and her late model sedan have made yet another surprise appearance, this time outside...

Trump Wants Purple Heart for Getting Ego Bruised by Impeachment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a closed-door deposition this week, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman gave what some are calling damning testimony regarding the call between...

Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Going to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning the Trump administration announced that First Sons Donald Jr. and Eric Trump will be participating in a new tradition...

Ken Starr Sees a ‘Stunning Lack of Blowjobs’ In Impeachment Case Against Trump

WACO, TEXAS -- Though he's now the chancellor of Baylor University, Ken Starr was made a household name in America while he was the...

Trump Releases New Photos From His Wedding to First Lady Melania

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States released new photos of his wedding with First Lady Melania Trump this morning. The president...

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