Friday, May 7, 2021
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CATEGORY

Dating/Relationships

Divorcing Pence and Trump Argue Over Who Gets Custody of Imprisoned Children at Border

America's most bitterly public divorce just got, somehow, even more testy. That's because outgoing lame duck one-term President Donald Trump and his Vice President...

Man Issues Formal Apology to Every Woman He Couldn’t Make Come

HIDDEN GORGE, CALIFORNIA -- This week, fifteen women throughout the country received the same letter from local resident Jerry Maloenelsexo, apologizing for his "inability"...

CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic

ATLANTA, GEORGIA --Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement to Americans, urging them to sanitize their butt plugs to...

CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control is "highly recommending" that couples...

Married Couple Might Get to Fuck Again Some Day

SAN GUILLERMO, CALIFORNIA -- Neither one of them are to blame, when you get them alone and ask them individually, for the lack of...

Stephen Miller and His New Bride Enjoying a Lovely Honeymoon Touring Dachau

DACHAU, GERMANY -- Over the weekend, White House Senior Racism Adviser Stephen Miller got married to Vice President Reverend Mike Pence's press secretary, and...

Incel Warns Left Hand Not to Expect Gifts Because Valentine’s Day Is a ‘Stupid Holiday Invented by Hallmark’

LAKE NOHSECKS, FLORIDA-- Charles "Chuck" Charleston is a 24 year old self-described "incel." This means that Chuck is involuntarily celibate. Like nearly all incels,...

President Trump Devastated First Lady Forgot Him On Valentine’s Day Again This Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's Valentine's Day today, but that doesn't mean that President Trump is in good spirits. Sources close to the situation say...

Study Shows 100% of Abortions None of Your Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely at eventually toppling the 1973 landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision...

Study Shows Being Female Still #1 Risk Factor Associated With Seeing Dicks You Didn’t Ask to See

SCHVANTZ LAKE, MINNESOTA -- A research study conducted by the University of East Minnesota has confirmed that, as had long been suspected within the...

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