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Bishop Suggests Biden Help Him Cover-Up Sex Abuse If He Wants to Take Communion

If the president wants to take communion, Bishop Richard Tugger suggests that Joe Biden "get more involved" with the archdiocese and help the church...

Fauci Nominated for Nobel Prize in Dealing With Criticism From Morons Who Couldn’t Do Your Job

The Nobel Prize Committee announced a new round of nominations for their highly sought after award, and a few were in brand new categories,...

Trump Jr. Furious His Dad Will Pay for Ivanka’s OnlyFans But Not a Cameo From Him

"Listen here, you tell him that I am not coming to his next rally if he doesn't do at least one Cameo with me,...

Tinder Starts Parlr, a Dating Service for Morons

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Tinder has become one of the leading and most popular dating apps available to people looking to find romance...

Klansman Outraged That Republicans Keep Claiming He’s a Democrat

"What was the point of voting for all those Republicans if I was just gonna get called a Democrat?"

John Wilkes Booth Claimed He Confused His Taser for His Derringer

From time to time, one finds oneself in the position to learn about modern times through the lens of history. Perhaps something that happens...

Doubtful MAGA Doesn’t See How Country That Expelled the Chinese and Interred the Japanese Has an Anti-Asian Problem

"I'm sick and tired of being reminded of things that happened so long ago!"

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed for the anchors that they've always been gender fluid. "It was the marketing people...

Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While it's not clear at this time exactly why Senator Ted Cruz went for a swim in the Potomac river last...

Biden Cancels White House Subscription to Ivanka’s OnlyFans

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In about a week, First Lady Ivanka Trump is going to need to find herself a new job, because she won't...

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