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Man Dumbfounded That Clothes Left Next to Hamper Are Still Washed and Folded
COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO — A Colorado man has reported miraculous laundry patterns in his ...
Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown
SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY — They don’t know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky’s ...
Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus
Researchers at the Centers For Uncontrolled Diseases excitedly announced today that, thanks to this ...
Stupidfuck Training to Become Dumbfuck
MORON VALLEY, MINNESOTA — Marcus Palumbozo is a stupidfuck. He has all the certifications ...
Man Issues Formal Apology to Every Woman He Couldn’t Make Come
HIDDEN GORGE, CALIFORNIA — This week, fifteen women throughout the country received the same ...
Report: They’re Still Fighting Over the Fucking PS4 Controllers
LOS CHICOS LUCHANDO, ARIZONA — There are more than one PS4 controller in their ...
CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic
ATLANTA, GEORGIA –Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement ...
7 Fun Ways to Avoid Selling Your Kids to the Circus During Their School’s Coronavirus Quarantine
All across the country, schools are closing down in order to slow the rate ...
CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus, ...
Quarantined Cruise Passenger: Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak
ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA — When she boarded the Queen’s Line cruise liner in Hawaii, ...