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CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic
ATLANTA, GEORGIA –Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement ...
7 Fun Ways to Avoid Selling Your Kids to the Circus During Their School’s Coronavirus Quarantine
All across the country, schools are closing down in order to slow the rate ...
CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus, ...
Quarantined Cruise Passenger: Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak
ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA — When she boarded the Queen’s Line cruise liner in Hawaii, ...
Married Couple Might Get to Fuck Again Some Day
SAN GUILLERMO, CALIFORNIA — Neither one of them are to blame, when you get ...
Coronavirus Threat Could Mean Millions of Americans Don’t Pretend to Be Irish Stereotypes This Year
All across America, cities and towns are holding emergency council meetings to determine if ...
Stephen Miller and His New Bride Enjoying a Lovely Honeymoon Touring Dachau
DACHAU, GERMANY — Over the weekend, White House Senior Racism Adviser Stephen Miller got ...
Incel Warns Left Hand Not to Expect Gifts Because Valentine’s Day Is a ‘Stupid Holiday Invented by Hallmark’
LAKE NOHSECKS, FLORIDA– Charles “Chuck” Charleston is a 24 year old self-described “incel.” This ...
President Trump Devastated First Lady Forgot Him On Valentine’s Day Again This Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s Valentine’s Day today, but that doesn’t mean that President Trump ...
Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1819” On All His Checks And Policy Proposals
WASHINGTON, D.C. — High Priest Reverend Pastor Vice President Mike Pence is like any ...