Man Dumbfounded That Clothes Left Next to Hamper Are Still Washed and Folded

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO — A Colorado man has reported miraculous laundry patterns in his ...

Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown

SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY — They don’t know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky’s ...

Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus

Researchers at the Centers For Uncontrolled Diseases excitedly announced today that, thanks to this ...

Stupidfuck Training to Become Dumbfuck

MORON VALLEY, MINNESOTA — Marcus Palumbozo is a stupidfuck. He has all the certifications ...

Man Issues Formal Apology to Every Woman He Couldn’t Make Come

HIDDEN GORGE, CALIFORNIA — This week, fifteen women throughout the country received the same ...

Report: They’re Still Fighting Over the Fucking PS4 Controllers

LOS CHICOS LUCHANDO, ARIZONA — There are more than one PS4 controller in their ...

CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic

ATLANTA, GEORGIA –Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement ...

CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus, ...