Friday, November 26, 2021
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Lifestyle

Judge Schroeder Invites Rittenhouse Over for Thanksgiving Dinner

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- This morning, Alternative Facts reported that Wendy Rittenhouse, mother of acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse, wasn't sure which table her son should sit at...

Santa Claus Tells Man It’s Time to Stop Believing in Made Up Things Like Trump Won

GREEN VALLEY, ARKANSAS -- This weekend, St. Nick, otherwise known as Santa Claus, had one what one eyewitness described as a "tense but ultimately...

Which of These Adorable Outfits Goes Best With Kyrsten Sinema’s Depraved Indifference to Human Suffering?

Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) has made quite the name of herself since ousting fellow Republican Martha McSally. Sinema has surprised many who presumed...

Donald Trump Wins Not Just One, But Two Nobel Prizes

OSLO, NORWAY -- It finally happened. This morning, after years of openly campaigning for one, former one term, twice forever impeached President Donald Trump has...

Texas Woman Files for Joint Custody Over Boyfriend’s Sperm

BAWSAK, TEXAS -- When Gov. Greg Abbot (Q-Gilead) signed SB8 into law, many wondered just what kind of Pandora's box he opened by making...

Dead Heat in “Dumbest Donald Trump in the World” Competition

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- An annual competition to find the world's dumbest man named "Donald Trump" is a statistical tie at this point. Each...

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to find any household bleach, or buy any new coat hangers...

Mississippi Law Labels the Pull-Out Method “Proto Abortion” and Outlaws It

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- Pundits have been wondering if the Supreme Court's lack of action on the new six-week abortion ban in Texas would send...

Pat Robertson Blames ‘Hot Men Doing Sexy Times on Each Other’s Fannies’ for California Wildfires

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has been watching the developments in California this week quite closely, however it's not the potential recall...

Scientific Study Shows People Who Think the Election Was Stolen Have This One Thing In Common

A new study from the National Institute of Investigation, Inquiry, and Inquest has delivered some rather fascinating results. If they can be peer reviewed...

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