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CATEGORY

Government

“Small Government” Governor Dictates to Private Companies What They Can Do About COVID-19

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- "Herp derp! Me small government conservative! Me hate socialism! Me want keep government from being tie-ran-ickle," Texas Gov. Greg Abbott said...

New Texas Law Prevents Women From Taking Laxatives Before 9 Months of Constipation

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- This week, a federal judge temporarily blocked Texas' ban on abortions after six weeks. The new law had garnered quite a bit...

Man in MAGA Hat Burning Cross Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a cross on the lawn of his black neighbor is not a racist, he...

5 Things Every Socialist Moocher Liberal Should Be Thankful Fo

The following is reprinted from a pamphlet being given by Congressional Republicans to their constituents during town hall meetings in their districts. It's that time...

Mexico Offers to Pay for 100% of Wall on Their Border With Colorado

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- In a development that might be beneficial to President Trump's claims that he has kept many of his campaign promises,...

Giant, Rotting, Racist Pumpkin Spotted on White House Steps

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Halloween is today, and the White House preparations for the holiday are in full swing. Decorations were hung all around the president's...

President Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted scientist with published theories on the safety of looking right at a solar...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before Impeaching Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he "absolutely does not and will not ever" support the impeachment of President...

Medical Community Stunned By Discovery of Vertebrate Democrat

Doctors and medical professionals all over the country, and indeed the world, are marveling right now that the discovery of a new breed of...

Pervy Conspiracy Theorist Storms Area 69 Instead

AREA 69, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION -- While everyone else has been busy preparing for an invasion of Area 51, the government's top secret desert outpost...

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