Business

Sex Toys “R” Us Announces Record Profits And Dozens Of Openings

BONE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Retail giant Sex Toys “R” Us has announced that they ...

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — Many Americans might have gotten the sense in the last fifteen ...

Colt Announces New Ammo Box Tops Program For Local Schools

WEST HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT — Since 1996, Box Tops for Education has partnered with several ...

Gushers To Roll Out New Fruit Flavored Detergent Pods

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — General Mills, makers of the Gushers brand of fruit chews, announced ...

Future SpaceX Projects Will Be Funded With Sales Of New Cologne: “Elon’s Musk”

This morning, billionaire entrepreneur and inventor Elon Musk watched another one of his SpaceX ...

Bags Of Lady Doritos Would Contain 20-25% Fewer Chips Than Regular Doritos

During a podcast interview recently, PepsiCo Indra Nooyi hinted that perhaps in the future a ...

Starburst Announces New Flavor: Trump’s Rectum

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — Over the weekend, word broke that Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) gave ...

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