Sunday, February 28, 2021
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CATEGORY

Religion

Confused Evangelical Still Can’t Find Anti-Abortion Verses in Bible

CORNHOLE FALLS, IDAHO -- Chad McMichaels is a 36 year old devout, born again Evangelical Christian. As such, Chad believes that abortion should be...

COVID-19 Forces Jesus to Delay Second Coming

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Concerns about the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak, particularly in the United States' "Bible Belt," have forced Jesus Hubert Christ to...

Jesus Still Doesn’t Know Why Everyone Calls the Day He Was Executed “Good Friday”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- A visibly annoyed Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway, told a gaggle of heavenly reporters this morning...

Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products

THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and most important post, Pope Francis has often times taken actions that past popes...

Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...

Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who also consider themselves fans of the Star Wars franchise not to invest...

Man Sees Jesus in 7-Eleven Holiday Cup

COPA MILAGRO, NEW MEXICO -- Grant Tabor is a lifelong resident of New Mexico, and as he calls himself, "a dyed in the wool,...

Evangelical Libertarian: “Jesus Died on the Cross to End Progressive Taxation”

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Bill Millen makes no bones about it. He loves "God, guns, America, Jesus, and President Trump's trace rectal elements." "If...

Pat Robertson Says California Earthquake Was God Clapping for Trump’s 4th of July Parade

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Though he didn't give his Independence Day speech until hours later after the initial shockwaves subsided, President Donald Trump triggered...

Alabama Grants Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Republicans in the State of Alabama have been on a tear lately. They've passed the country's most...

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