Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Boebert and Taylor Greene to Star in OAN’s “Real Housewives of QAnon”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Far-right media outlet OAN has announced that it will begin airing its own alternative reality TV shows, produced for their target demographics. At the same time that announcement was made, the details of the very first show were announced.

“We are extremely pleased to announce that starting this fall, The Real Housewives of QAnon will begin airing wherever you get OAN currently,” the OAN press release states, “So, in other words, if you happen to be at your next klan meeting and they leave the TV on, you’ll be treated to the show’s debut, and of course its two sensational standout stars, Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert.”

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The Real Housewives of QAnon will, according to OAN, “follow the misadventures of America’s favorite insurrectionist Qunts” as they navigate D.C. Greene came to prominence in last year’s primary season when she openly embraced the QAnon conspiracy theory that states President Trump was hand-picked by God to expose and destroy a satanic pedophilic cult run by the Democratic Party. It was unclear up to this point if Boebert, of Colorado, was also a Q adherent.

“We knew that Lauren was batshit fucking crazy,” OAN’s assistant director of daytime programming, Joe Mengylah, told reporters today, “but we didn’t know if she was just a garden variety gun nut, or if she also believed the whackadoo stuff about cults and Satan and the Democrats. We were very pleased when she agreed to be a part of this truly groundbreaking show.”

In a joint statement, the freshmen congresswomen thanked OAN for the opportunity to have their own show, and also spewed nonsense about the election.

“Since we share brain cells, we figured we’d share stationery and take this chance to thank the fine people on both sides at OAN,” the joint statement reads. “OAN is the only network brave enough to tell you the facts as you want them to be, rather than how they actually are. And only OAN is strong enough to keep calling Trump president even after he’s dead and buried and people are shitting and pissing on his grave.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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