Thursday, June 24, 2021

Biden Says It’s Time To Take Eric’s Finger Paintings Off the White House Fridge

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When Joe Biden took office last month, he signed a flurry of executive orders that reversed several such orders signed by his tangerine tinted, treacherous, tax cheating, racist predecessor. However, Biden didn’t just completely and unilaterally everything the man who occupied the White House for the preceding four years had done, and the White House has told the media frequently that several policies from the previous administration were being studied and are under review.

This morning, President Biden took a step toward ending one such policy right away.

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“Under his constitutional authority,” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced today, “President Biden has ordered that Eric Trump’s finger paintings be removed from the White House fridge. The president is grateful for Eric’s attempts at creativity, but feels it’s time to highlight some works from other artists with an elementary school education.”

On the Hill, response to Biden’s decision was met with broad condemnation from people who spent four years reflexively defending Eric’s father.

“I just find it truly disgusting that President Biden couldn’t find it in his cold, liberal heart to leave Eric’s paintings up,” Congress Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) told NewsMax this morning. “I would like to personally offer Eric my entire fridge, study walls, and living room to display any art he’d like to, and I call on Congress to immediately impeach President Biden for this egregious assault on MAGA Americans everywhere.”

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene told OAN that she thinks Biden’s decision to take down Eric’s finger paintings is “the most direct assault on real Americans since Lincoln’s war of northern aggression.”

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“Nobody has a right to take down Eric’s finger paintings once they’re on the fridge. And I know, deep down I know, this has something to do with Q,” Greene said, “and once I’ve smoked enough of this crack here in my pocket, I will be able to expose that truth to you all.”

Rep. Greene was still hitting the glass dick at the time of publication.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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