James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Stephen Miller and His New Bride Enjoying a Lovely Honeymoon Touring Dachau

DACHAU, GERMANY — Over the weekend, White House Senior Racism Adviser Stephen Miller got ...

Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA — Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop ...

President Trump Devastated First Lady Forgot Him On Valentine’s Day Again This Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s Valentine’s Day today, but that doesn’t mean that President Trump ...

Gabbard Not Ruling Out Turd Party Candidacy

MOSSY COW, NEW HAMPSHIRE — Alleged Democrat Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard told reporters at a ...

Trump Demands President of Utah Investigate Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON, D.C. — To say that Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) surprised the White House ...

Murkowski Knows OJ Did It, But Glad He Got Off Anyway

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When it’s all said and done, Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska  ...

Murkowski and Alexander to Receive Presidential Medals of Cowardice

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump will present two Republican senators with special ...