James Schlarmann 
Surgeons Asphyxiating From Wearing Masks Up 10,000,000,000,000% Since COVID-19 Outbreak
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Police Union Suggests Banning Camera Phones Would Eliminate Brutality and Excessive Force
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NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap
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Cop Would Rather Resign and Only Beat His Wife If He Can’t Have a Tank and Machine Gun At Work
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Alphabet Announces New Porn-Only Web Browser Called “Google Cream”
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Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System
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World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole
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Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown
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Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak
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Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus
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