James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Town Goes Nuts for Local Man’s Pubic Topiaries

CHEVEUX DU SUD, LOUISIANA — For the last several days, the gallery in artist ...

Iconic Rock Band Enters Corporate Partnership With McDonald’s

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Representatives for the band Fleetwood Mac announced a new corporate partnership ...

David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been ...

Mark Meadows Named White House Grand Imperial Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, Donald Trump announced that his loyal and faithful servant, Chief ...

NRA Backs Trump’s Proposed ‘Second Amendment Cure’ for Coronavirus

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — The National Rifle Association has released a statement supporting an unorthodox ...