James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap

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Alphabet Announces New Porn-Only Web Browser Called “Google Cream”

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Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

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World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

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Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak

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Dipshits Flock to Beaches to Help Stop Stopping Spread of Coronavirus

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