James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

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Smokey Bear’s New Slogan: “Only YOU Give a Shit About Your Baby’s Gender”

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Kenosha PD Says They Couldn’t ‘Do Anything’ With Rittenhouse Until He Turned His Back and/or Changed His Skin Tone

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Men’s Rights Activist Demands Wife Bake Cake to Celebrate Anniversary of Male Suffrage

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Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”

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CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

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COVID-19 Forces Jesus to Delay Second Coming

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Man and Weed Dealer Have Agreement Not to Discuss Politics

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CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19

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Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain

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More Content:

Citing Pending Litigation, the Black Knight Refuses to Concede

James Schlarmann 0

Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

James Schlarmann 0

Smokey Bear’s New Slogan: “Only YOU Give a Shit About Your Baby’s Gender”

James Schlarmann 0

Kenosha PD Says They Couldn’t ‘Do Anything’ With Rittenhouse Until He Turned His Back and/or Changed His Skin Tone

James Schlarmann 0

Men’s Rights Activist Demands Wife Bake Cake to Celebrate Anniversary of Male Suffrage

James Schlarmann 0
Recent Posts: The Political Garbage Chute

President Finds It Hard To Believe 80 Million Fuckin’ Assholes and Losers Voted For Biden and Not Him

President Finds It Hard To Believe 80 Million Fuckin’ Assholes and Losers Voted For Biden and Not Him
Recent Posts: Alternative Facts

Trumpist Strikes a Blow for Freedom by Giving His Grandmother Covid-19 on Thanksgiving

Trumpist Strikes a Blow for Freedom by Giving His Grandmother Covid-19 on Thanksgiving
Recent Posts: Not Really.News

Trump Asks SCOTUS to Force States to Count Votes Using Three-Fifths Compromise

Trump Asks SCOTUS to Force States to Count Votes Using Three-Fifths Compromise
Recent Posts: Satirical Facts

In 5-4 Decision, Supreme Court Says Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

In 5-4 Decision, Supreme Court Says Jesus Is the Reason for the Season
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