James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Richard Nixon Experiencing Crazy Case Of Deja Vu

LAKE OF FIRE, ETERNITY — From deep within the bowels of Hell, a deep, ...

Paul Ryan Worried He’ll Never Get Laid Again Once He Quits Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Randian Dystopia) announced ...

Trump Says Undocumented Mexicans Coming Here To Take Advantage Of The Homestead Act

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In 1862, President Abraham Lincoln signed into the law the first ...

Jerusalem Jesus Awakes From Three Day Slumber And Sees Shadow, Predicting Return Of Winter

This morning, Jerusalem Jesus, the plucky mascot of Israel, predicted that there would be ...