James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Kavanaugh Pledges To Treat Cases Involving ‘Vile, Left-Wing Dangerous Lunatic Democrats’ Fairly

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh issued a statement today in ...

Breaking: Brett Kavanaugh Sure Could Use a Stiff One Or 50 Right About Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a brutal morning of testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee ...

Kavanaugh Issues Apology For Habitually, Repeatedly, Incessantly Missing Signals He Should Pull Out

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is under intense, unrelenting scrutiny the ...

Trump: “Those 3,000 Puerto Ricans Died On Purpose To Make Me Look Bad!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Discussing his administration’s response to Hurricane Florence, a massive storm barreling ...

Ted Cruz Grills Kavanaugh For His Views On Booger Eating

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Senate Judiciary Committee has been interviewing Judge Brett Kavanaugh as ...

Flags And McCain’s War Boner at Half Mast

WASHINGTON, D.C. — From sea to shining sea, from New York to California, from ...